Letter to my Sister (1)

This letter was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend’s younger sister. It was written to encourage those who may need encouragement or know someone who does… 

Dearest Naomi,

O, how the tables have turned from yesterday! I hear them whispering behind my back; saying in hushed tones ‘Can you believe her!’  I see them point and laugh. They call me ‘relic’, ‘dinosaur’ and taunt me with their stares. But I am unfazed; I do not care. And it only makes them stare harder, wonder more. What is with her?

I went to school the other day to find scrawled on my locker; ‘Get with the program, girl! The definition changed from dignity to a lack of opportunity’ I smile and wipe it off. When will they get that I don’t care? That I have no desire to enroll in the so-called program?

I thank God for the little talk we had before you went off to college. It’s helped me understand them and respond in love. Animosity towards what’s different from you is probably as old as society. We tend to shun and ridicule what we do not understand. But I’d be all too willing to explain if only they’d ask!

I’m not doing this to feel special or to get attention for being different. This kind of attention, I can live without. It’s neither cos I was told in Sunday school nor cos I have ice running through my veins. I have the same desires they do. I’m doing this for one reason only, to honor God’s temple.

And even then, this is not all it takes. It’s the purity of body, mind and spirit and becoming more and more like Christ by consistently doing God’s will through Christ who strengthens me that honors God. So I do not feel any better than anyone for all sin is sin.

I have a question for you though, do you remember at youth fellowship when Auntie Mary said there were fringe benefits to remaining a virgin before marriage and she gave the example of your husband not having to wonder if any guy who greets you a little too familiarly once owned what is now his? You got up, nostrils flaring and said, ‘If it was for a man, I would have given up ages ago; these men who cheat and beat their wives?’

Everyone was surprised because you were always so quiet but it did drive a point home; it’s for God. And that is why sometimes I worry when I find myself praying; ‘God, I really hope you have someone special for me’, as if I deserve some reward for honoring Him. Do you feel that way sometimes?

Your Sister,

Eunice

Let's talk about what we don't like talking about... (hehehe... not what you're thinking)

I don't know why, but I have female reproductive health on my mind. BTW, where is everyone rushing to with their first sexual encounters? 

I remember in high school, during a class on Reproductive health, I raised my hand and asked if girls could get pregnant from oral sex since the semen went into their bellies where babies are made... Yup, 16 year old me with her years of reading romance novels just had to ask this question which was bothering her mind in class. I got laughed at for my naivety, but I got my answer; No.

Today, people are proudly broadcasting that they had sex at twelve and ten years old. Mehn! The way I didn't want my childhood to end! And people are just rushing to be grown ups ASAP. Hmm...

Anyway, my friend recently turned 21 and when I called, I said; "Congratulations! You're now legal worldwide. In fact if you were in France, you could now finally vote! And now that you are fully grown up, it's time to make that trip to the doctor for your pap smear"

"For what?" She asked. 

"Your pap..." I started... 

"I heard you the first time. Why now?"

"Well, it's supposed to take place when you turn 21 or after your first sexual experience"

Being the clown that she is, she made my day by replying;

"Etoile, but if I haven't opened my legs for the person for whom it's meant, why would I go and lie down for some (stranger) doctor to poke around in the name of medicine?"

"So you'll know if everything is okay down there.."

"Please, everything is okay. What hasn't killed me till now, can wait till I marry"

We laughed about it but I wondered... How many of us do anything to check and make sure everything is okay with us? A doctor friend tells me many have had their lives saved through a routine check Why? Cervical cancer. A pap smear can be your lifeline because like all cancers, the earlier it's caught, the better your chances of survival. 

So yes, let's giggle and blush about it... but if you're 21 and above or are/have been sexually active, do yourself a favour and get that smear. Who knows? It may save your life...

So, apparently, a woman boosts her chances of getting cervical cancer if she:

• Starts having sex before age 18
• Has many sex partners
• Has sex partners who have other sex partners
• Has or has had a STI

(side-eying those deciding to have sex at age twelve and ten whilst their counterparts forced into prostitution would give almost anything to have their innocence back)

When the sea and roads become thirsty for Blood...

Easter is here. In Ghana, this is mega Chilling time. From para-gliding on the Kwahu mountains to beaches being choked with 'picnickers' on Easter Monday, it's a time to de-stress and make merry, often forgetting what we are commemorating. I lie?

As we celebrate the most precious gift there is, the gift of eternal life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, let's pause and think of those who lose their lives every year as we celebrate this LIFE*

Every year, too many people die in accidents at Christmas & Easter. It's really unfortunate; especially the 'preventable' ones.

It's sad when you hear a young person is dead. It's sadder when you ask for the cause of death and are told drunk-driving & you feel any sympathy people may have had disappear. I bet it's hard to be sympathetic when traces of cocaine in the nostrils and alcohol on the breath are the first things to greet you when you get to an accident scene. Especially when you're a poiceman or coroner and have seen enough wasted youth to last you several lifetimes.

True, it will not be on your obituary because we are Africans and do not speak ill of the dead. But rest assured everyone who makes it to the funeral or asks after you and their family and friends will know. After all, we had our own wireless telephone systems way before cellphones came into their own and no one will say it but many will think it; what a waste of youth! It's just like he/she committed willful suicide.

I wonder whether they tell the parents when they call... "We will need you to come over and identify a body we suspect may be your son/daughter. It was a car accident... but we wont be sure of the cause of death till after the autopsy. The amounts of alcohol and narcotics found in his/her blood stream were lethal" God help the parent who has to take that call!!! Please don't make your loved ones have to go through that.

If u're drunk, stay put! Don't put the bottle to your own head & pull the trigger. If you're high, stay put. That is not the time to show your Michael Phelps skills in the sea or your NASCAR skills on the potholed roads. And if u don't drink, etc. Please dont get in a car with a someone who is clearly out of it. sure, your friend loves u, but He/she isnt the one driving at that moment. 

My schoolmate lost a sister on Tuesday. She was sober. It didn't matter. The drunk-driver made it and should be discharged Today. I'm not saying he should have died... I'm just stating she didn't live.

So as you go a-chilling this Easter, please don't have an accident or drown at the beach because you were drunk. God forbid that it happen! I pray no one crashes nor drowns... But if it must, don't let it be by your own hand. Don't be reckless with life as we celebrate the gift of life..

What's up for #EASTER ? Kwahu mountains? While para-gliding, look at the amazing scenery and acknowledge the gift we commemorate. Salvation!

We know we will all go one day. WHEN & HOW you'll go is, for the most part, out of your control. At least make sure you know WHERE u'll go... It's where you'll spend the rest of time. Don't leave your destination to chance.

I discovered you too young...

I discovered you too young...

When I was young and scared
And uncertain what to do with you
When the calluses in my hands were
too tender to handle your heat

For yes, even at that tender age
When the stars in my eyes still twinkled
I saw your warning label, tucked in an
obscure corner 'Highly Inflammable'

So even though you were 'Smoking Hot'
I ran, faster than I ever have
But midway, I stopped and waited
long enough for you to catch me...

And that was my sweet mistake
one that almost took my life... (To be continued :P)

What Helps you through Grief?

When we lost Serwah in 2005, I became thoroughly acquainted with Cece Winan's 'Comforter'. I would put it on repeat and pray and cry my my questions and turmoil out to God. I was talking to my friend during that period and as I asked 'God, why?' one more time, she asked me, 'Who fathoms the eternal thought?' 


She was reminding me of one of my favourite Methodist hymns which helped me immensely in high school when my Grandpa passed away. I'd had it on repeat on my 'voicebox' then. As we broke into song together, I felt comfort sweep over my soul. 


The hymn is MHB 513 and I have posted the lyrics below. Since Monday when I heard the news about my grandma, I haven't stopped singing this hymn nor playing 'Comforter'. What helps you in times of sorrow/grief?  Kindly share your go-to scripture, music, quotes, etc. that help you overcome times of grief.


1. Who fathoms the eternal thought?
Who talks of scheme and plan?
The Lord is God! He needeth not
The poor device of man.

2. I see the wrong that round me lies,
I feel the guilt within;
I hear, with groan and travail-cries,
The world confess its sin.

3. Here in the maddening maze of things,
When tossed by storm and flood,
To one fixed ground my spirit clings;
I know that God is good!

4. I long for household voices gone,
For vanished smiles I long:
But God hath led my dear ones on,
And He can do no wrong.

5. I know not what the future hath
Of marvel or surprise,
Assured alone that life and death
His mercy underlies.

6. And if my heart and flesh are weak
To bear an untried pain,
The bruised reed He will not break,
But strengthen and sustain.

7. No offering of my own I have,
Nor works my faith to prove;
I can but give the gifts He gave,
And plead His love for love.

8. And so beside the silent sea
I wait the muffled oar;
No harm from Him can come to me
On ocean or on shore.

9. I know not where His islands lift
Their fronded palms in air;
I only know I cannot drift
Beyond His love and care.