I know the internet has made long-distance relationships 'easier' and our loved ones are more available to us now when they are not with us than they've ever been. Yet, sometimes, like a sick child or a pregnant woman who will refuse any food that is not the vegetarian pizza sold 50 miles away when they are not even vegetarian, no amount or mode of communication can fill the void of their absence.

There are just those times where you want to go and find Celine Dion and hug her for her song 'When I need Love' because you're detesting the miles and miles of empty spaces and realizing a telephone can truly not take the place of a smile...

It sucks that Long-Distance is inevitable at times. Watching the army wives and girlfriends around me, I don't know how they do it. Even people with ah-so-frequent communication are crying for more. I asked my friend how she did it and she said no matter how little of him she gets, she'd rather have 0.001% of him that 0%. I guess that sorta kinda makes sense...

I’d rather have you here…

I know I could text you, IM you, ping you, etc.

But I’d rather hear your voice

I’d rather feel your stubble

Gently grazing my neck

As you whisper into my ear

I’d rather breathe you in

With my arms around you

Holding you near

I’d rather not text,

Or Skype, or IM

I’d rather have you here

And it hurts,

That I can’t have

What I’d rather

But through all the pain,

If stopping the pain

Means saying goodbye,

I’d rather miss you

I’d rather hurt

Although above all,

I’d rather have you here.

(Right now)

PS: Distance can go play in traffic right now.
PPS: I just realized this is my 100th post. 

Why I know I will 'always' love you

• Because I couldn't grasp the dictionary definition of euphoria until you held me away in your arms after a long hug, looked me in the eye with wonder and kissed my forehead with reverence. 

• Because I, Miss flippant and nonchalant began to do crazy, fiercely possessive things like envy the sun its ability to touch any and every part of you, right there in the open.

• Because the light and heat from your smile that greets me when I enter a room makes me wonder why energy is still an issue when there's enough light and warmth for an eternity in that smile.

• Because your hand holding mine is more than enough backbone to face whatever obstacle life may think itself clever to have thrown my way. 

• Because I never understood Romeo and Juliet until I stood by your bedside, machines beeping and wondered what would be left to live for if you didn't make it.

• Because I never understood leaving the 99 sheep to pursue the lost one until I stood in my dream house, dream job in hand and realized I'd gladly give them all up to have you back from beyond

• Because I can't bring myself to talk/write about you in the past tense after all this while.

• Because I've never stopped asking God why

• Because, just because

The Story that cannot be Told

What do you do with a story

you cannot tell yourself?

A story where not even the

hundredth person narrative would do

And so first, second and third are out?



A story which shows you in the most

unbecoming light ever?

Going against everything you are (were?)

And everything you ever stood for

Being everything but you?



What do you do with a story

you cannot forget about?

A story which would change everything

and yet wont stay down

no matter how hard you push?



A story that would make your

mentors and mentees at the very least

See you as an ugly beast

Or at the other end be so shocked they wonder

if the sun truly rises from the east?



What do you do with a story

that is a painful lump in you throat?

A story you'd gladly have surgery for

To get rid of the lump

And to erase it from your mind?



A story which makes you cry each night

scaldng tears that would not fall?

A story which sends you out

for a strenuous midnight jog

just to pause the thoughts?



A story which when you return from the jog

exhausted beyond belief

cold and shivering

and enter the the shower,

comes rushing back with the hot water?



A story you pray about every night?

A story you cannot forgive yourself for?

A story which... *swallows*



What do you do with such a story?

What can you do with such a story?

What must you do with such a story?

Can you do anything with such a story?