Sunday, February 27, 2011

THE POEM (more like a speech)

Who you are in Christ (For the ladies)

First, you are loved and delighted in by your creator
The Bible declares in Jeremiah 31:3 "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness"

Zephaniah 3:17 says: "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing"

No matter what your past has been, what others have told you, or what you have been led to believe about yourself, Christ sees you as a jewel, a treasure, and his beloved.

Second, you are the pure bride of Christ
Ephesians 5:25-27 says, "... just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless'

This paints such an exacting picture of the incredible divine romance Christ has invited you into. Even without a romantic relationship with a man in your life, you have the greatest love story of all time. Your bridegroom loved you since creation, died for you, cared for you, and place His spirit within you. You belong to the one lover who meets your every need and satisfies the longings of your heart.

1 Corinthians 7:34 says, "... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."

You will never be disappointed by the passionate love of Christ :)

Third, you are beautiful
As women of God, you have the deepest beauty of all. Each one of you is beautiful on the outside, but what defines your incredible beauty is that which Christ has given you. A woman, whose heart belongs to Christ, is desirable.

I heard a fellow man make a comment recently concerning a wonderful woman of God; "My spirit is attracted to her". Your true value and attractiveness comes from within. As men of God, we see Christ in you and a desire to seek Him, and this amplifies the beauty you were born with.

Proverbs 31:31 says, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised".

So with that, we thank you; for seeking God, for inspiring us to be better men of God, for adding a certain level of civility tour lives, and for being true ladies...

AWWWW..... Lol

(c) Brad Ewton (2011)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Service to God... (Who said Godly men can't be romantic?)

On Thursday, one of the nicest things that ever happened to me took place. The guys at our campus ministry decided they were going to honour, appreciate and serve the ladies by hosting a dinner for us at the church premises. It was very aptly timed, Monday being valentine's day and all.

After coming down with single-itis on Monday and missing home a bit more than usual, this evening was just what I needed. of course, I didn't know until I got there and I very nearly cancelled my plans to attend due to a pending deadline. Thank God I didn't! It would have been a huge mistake!

It wasn't a bring your date kind of event. It was purely a girl's night out, hosted by the guys. We arrived to the sound of great music and entered to find a couple of guys on stage, serenading us as we got seated. There were guys ready to pull out our chairs for us and make sure we were comfortably seated.

The place had been beautifully decorated, with scented candles providing this calming fragrance and lighting. Apparently, the guys met earlier and ate so it would be all about us when we arrived. They were all dressed up for us in their tuxedos and what not and waited on us hand and foot. Before your water finished, it was refilled. There was more great music and a skit (their own rendition of Don Quixote).

Service was impeccable and we really felt pampered. Being the ladies that we are, we were only able to enjoy it for five minutes before we felt we should be helping and felt guilty we hadn't thought of anything for the guys. The guys stood their ground however and we could only sit back and enjoy, all the while plotting what we could do to make them see how very much appreciated they were.

Whilst I know this is a rare occurrance and savoured every moment as such, I couldn't help but think that this is perhaps the kind of gesture that revived the last glowing embers of a dying marriage. As we sat plotting how we could surprise them and make them feel equally special, the glow from our smiles could have lit up the whole state. It's truly the little things.

Dinner was a  three course affair and was kept simple. Salad, macaroni and cheese, and cake and ice/whipped cream. Believe me when I say it could have been gari and water and tasted just as good.

There was dancing afterwards and even that wasn't couple based so that everybody got to dance. We had the group dances and circles with a few dance lessons thrown in. I was grinning from head to toe by the end of the night... and I had some renewed faith in men. Maybe all is not lost after all... :) :)

The most beautiful part of the night? This poem they read out to us... I don't know who wouldn't feel loved and pampered and utterly cherished after hearing it. I will try and post the poem soon. For now, I say, Vive la chivalrie! and God bless our men :) :) :)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Happy Valentines Day, Everyone. Happy National Chocolate Day, Fellow Ghanaians...

One of the departments in my school had this posted on the mirrors in the ladies room today...

MIRRORLESS MONDAY: The mirror only shows a small part of who you are. Focus more on what's inside. 

At first I smiled and thought 'yeah, right!' because I was actually changing into my gym clothes and unconsciously checking to see if my abs had started getting swimsuit ready when I saw the note. I caught myself and realized how much we all need this reminder, especially the ladies. A man can have a beer belly and balding head and still think he's hot. Not so for the ladies.

The prettiest of girls is likely to have an insecurity about her looks which is all she sees when she looks into the mirror. Forget luxurious locks,  a face to die/kill for and a killer figure. Some obscure 'imperfection' only she sees can make her feel inferior, unworthy, unpretty,... to the extent that she may even believe anyone who pays her a compliment is making fun of her or is just being 'nice'.

On days like Valentines Day, negative (often delusional) body images heighten as ladies who would stand a good chance at winning any beauty contest they enter, convince themselves it is because of a chipped wisdom tooth (who sees that?) or two extra pounds that they are still single.

If there is one thing I have learnt, It's that confidence is attractive in both sexes. If you have nothing going for you (in your own estimation) and have an attitude that says 'This is who I am, take it or leave it. I love me' You are more attractive than someone who is 'pretty' and insecure about her looks.

Second lesson is that people will often treat you as you see and portray yourself. If your dressing, language, etc. says I'm fat and ugly and no one likes me, It will take a lot for someone to want to get close to you. You are supposed to know yourself better than anyone else and if you're convinced you're unlovable, you must have good reason. Who are they to come and try to prove you wrong?

Having struggled with body image for many years myself, I understand the psychology behind this and know we are not at our most rational when we feel that way.

So today, what I have to say isn't to try and reason with you. It's a plea. There's only one of you in the world. Your body you were born with is the only one you will ever have (plastic surgery can modify certain parts but cannot give you a new body). Embrace it and love it, whatever you may believe is wrong with it. And for those who are single and itching to pair up, loving yourself makes it easier and more inviting for others to love you too.

Accept the parts you can do absolutely nothing about. You didn't choose your face, headshape, etc. before you were born. You owe no one an apology for it. Work on the parts you can do something about. If you don't like your weight, do something about it, but do it for you. Do it for your health and do it healthily. Starving yourself (anorexia), or throwing up what you eat (bulimia) wont do you any good, if at the end of the day, you do not live long enough to enjoy the 'ultimate body' you acquired. 

No one cares whether a corpse is size zero or twenty. And you know what? Losing every pound you don't want on your body won't make everything in your life alright. More often than not, it doesn't even make you feel any better about your body. You get to size zero and want to be a size 00 and it continues...

To borrow TLC's unpretty lyrics, 

'You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if you say so
You can buy all the make-up
that M.A.C can make'

And I add (and paraphrase)
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who you are and love you
No one (and nothing) can make you feel pretty
when you're feeling So damn unpretty

You're BEAUTIFUL. Better believe it!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Cupid has a Darn Good Lawyer (III)...

I put a value on the tears I cried when he broke up with me and the weight I gained through comfort eating and the sweat I had to work up at the gym to burn those pounds off.  Put a value on my mental agony, anxiety and stress I went through whenever he misbehaved. I did the same for all the other grievances and my chest puffed with pride as I watched the numbers pile up. At this rate, I was going to be a trillionaire at Cupid’s expense...

But cupid’s lawyer was right. My heart would not let me lie and when I came to citing the benefits and valuing them, it showed me that it had an equal capacity to remember hawppiness as it did to remember pain. By the time I was done, I was in the negative. I was as shocked as you and went back to carefully scrutinize the two accounts carefully. Yup! I owed Cupid. Big Time.

You see, the time he made me cry and call him every name under the earth was crossed out by the time he made me so happy I sang ‘I have the best boyfriend in the world all week. Never heard the song? Don’t worry. I haven’t recorded it yet. As for the weight gain, they were cancelled by the weight I lost being too happy to eat or being satisfied just sitting and chatting with him.

Cupid had a darn good lawyer because he made me do all the work and still won the case. He has a proven 100% track record. If he had gone to Harvard Law School, he would have graduated top of his class. He is very efficient and wins his cases using as little of the company’s resources as possible. Whatever your field, he would find a way to make you argue his case out for him, in your
own language and terms.

Cupid has a brilliant lawyer and if you want, you can try him out; although if I were you, I’d save myself the time and hassle. I asked him what he would have done if I had ended up with a positive value. 'A valid question', he said, '...a few did. But they forget to factor in the fact that although Cupid’s bow plants seeds, you humans are always in control of your senses and willpower and yet choose to willingly succumb and fertilize these tiny seeds Cupid sows into towering oaks. Cupid often offers to share the respvnsibility and even when he takes ninety percent, the ten is enough to send them into the negative'. 'And those who pass this stage too?' I asked…’If I told you, I’d have to kill you', he smiled.

Cupid’s brilliant lawyer is a businessman too. Seeing I would never be able to pay off the debt in one lifetime, he offered to cancel my debt if I gave him and the company ‘Cupid and co.’ a raving review on my blog, telling the whole world he whooped my backside fair and square. Yes, this post was written under duress.

So there, Cupid, consider our debt settled. I still think you’re a lousy shot though. If I bought you contacts, would you wear them? :P

The End...


Sunday, February 6, 2011


Prettykay at CHRONICLES OF A SEMI-SERIOUS CHICK!!! nominated me for this award. Thank you, Twinny! 

Aristotle once said that 'Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Prettykay is who I'd probably be sharing a soul with if that quote was literally true. We compliment each other amazingly well for two people with such contrasting personalities and it's one of the seven wonders of friendship that we've been together since second grade and no matter how long we 'breakup', we always come back together. Distance, time, growing up, etc, etc. have all had their hand at trying to break us up and failed. I will do a proper post about our friendship later on but this was just to let you know that if you like my blog, there's a high possibility you'll like hers too. So if you didn't already check her out, do so and let me know what you think...

As per the memo, I am supposed to say 7 things about myself that you didn't know before... Well, here goes

1) Seven (7) is my favourite number. I have no idea why I like that number above all others. It was thus fitting that my dearest cousin read about her here, who was more like a sister, now of blessed memory, was born on 7th July (07/07). Could that be why I like Seven? Hmm....

2) I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want to mix sugar and pepper/salt in their food. I like my sweets sweet and my meats spicy and do not appreciate attempts at mixing sweet and spicy. Please do not attempt to serve me sweet and sour sauce, pineapple on pizza, anything with barbecue sauce on it,... you get the picture. When I am feeling very benevolent, I will eat orange chicken. And that's pushing it.

3) I'll 90% of the time choose to stay home and cuddle a good book or a good man, as the case may be, over a night out on the town. (My conscience is pricking me to make that 95%. I refuse to think I'm that bad.)

4) I am a chocolate addict. Seriously, I used to starve myself and use my money for chocolate. I even think of my recommended daily caloric intake in terms of chocolate. As it stands, I am supposed to eat five snicker bars worth of calories a day. I have tried rehab several times and failed. Exercise and healthy food choice is not a problem for me at the moment. Now if only I could give up chocolate, I'd be a svelte UK size 8, the size that keeps eluding me. 

5) I am a confirmed Francophile (lover of all things French). If you want to make me really happy, take me to France, Switzerland or Belgium. I'll even settle for French Canada. All that is missing from my love affair with French is the accent and I'll love to stay in any of these places long enough to pick up the accent. France is my first choice, naturally.

6) I love Ghana and all things Ghanaian. Even when I'm frustrated at every point, there's no place like home and I really hope God equips me and brings me to the right opportunity to make a difference in the history of my country. Did I mention that I loved Ghana? Lol.

7) I feel a little sad that I am African and have never been on an African Safari. When people in an attempt to identify with me, tell me they have been to Africa and were in Kenya, etc... I realize how little of Africa I know and how it's kind of messed up that once we can afford it, everyone vacations and honeymoons everywhere but in Africa. As God wills, I shall go on a Safari before I turn 30. Can I hear an amen!

Spreading the good cheer around, I nominate (this is going to be hard since most people have had their turn already)...

1) Enitan : I love her blog. It's real and very versatile.

2) KitKat : I just found her but her posts never fail to make me smile or SMH in amusement. And don't go near style. This lady will brave hell, high-water or a tummy-ache to get beautiful boots :)

3) Suzanne : Her dedication to fitness is a constant inspiration and I love her style.

4) Dava My gosh! Style, check. Versatility, check. My visits to this blog always make me learn a thing or two about literature, effective writing and wit.

5)  Taynement If I could meet any of the bloggers I read, she'd definitely going to make it to top three.

6)  Gee : A woman of God with style, passion and devotion.

7)  Julz : Versatile doesn't begin to describe her writing and she's got style on and off blogsville. Even has her own line of clothing... Young African entrepreneur. We need more of her :)

of course I'll stop at seven... What's the use of having a favourite number???

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Cupid has a Darn Good Lawyer (II)

On one such day, I became so angry with cupid that I decided to go find him and sue him for causing both collateral and emotional damage to me by being careless with his bow and arrow. Spurred on by the fact that I had many friends who could write LLB and LLM after their names, I traveled far and wide and met him perched on a baobab tree, about to shoot an unassuming young couple.

The young man was helping the beautiful girl position her pot on her head after helping her draw water from the well, his well built muscles glistening with the sweat from his exertion. They looked so young, so carefree. “Stop!” I screamed. 'Have you not caused enough trouble?' I asked.

Startled, he dropped his bow. 'How may I help you?' He asked. I laughed a mirthless laugh. 'Help me? No, thanks, I’ve had all the help from you I can stomach for a lifetime'. ‘Is this a legal suit? He asked. Aha! I thought. “I see I am not the first one to seek legal action against you. You agree you’ve made some mistakes then". 'I’ll admit nothing of the sort'. He said. 'But yes, sadly, you’re not the first to seek legal action against me. And for people like you, so I don’t have to take time off my all important job, I have a lawyer'.

He whistled and his lawyer appeared. 'Why don’t you people wear clothes? I asked, discomfited by the flagrant display of nudity. 'Our job is best done with full disclosure', he said, winking and darted off saying ‘He will address all your concerns’

Cupid’s lawyer was very professional and efficient. He took down my name, etc. and asked me to state my case. I began to list all the reasons I believed Cupid made a terrible mistake pairing … and I off and in the process, caused me unnecessary distress and pain, which I believed I should be compensated for. I counted them - 143 good reasons. I will not bore you with the details. When I was done, he asked, is that all? Surprised, I asked 'Is that not enough? Do you require more?' He shrugged and said, 'People often have more'.

'What do you do?' He asked. 'I am a student'. 'What do you study?' 'Economics', I said. 'Good. This should make our meeting shorter'. He said, genuinely happy. His smile made me nervous. What possible reason could he have to smile? I was about to make them pay for the harm they caused me.

‘Your concerns listed here all look valid'. He said. Still smiling, he continued, 'Supposing my client were to own up to all these offenses listed, you economists believe that intangible costs and benefits can be measured by the use of...' ‘Shadow Pricing’ I offered. 'Right. So you would have no problem helping me quantify these grievances you have listed'. 'At all!' I said. 'I will just attempt to put a monetary value on my tears, heartache, sighs, etc. and give you a round figure'.

'Do that', he said. 'And to be fair, wouldn’t your marginal cost, marginal benefit thing come in here too? I mean, unless you are saying you benefited in no way from this allegedly accidental’ liason'. ‘of course, not’ I answered. 'Could you make a list of those benefits and shadow-price them as well?' ‘You would trust me to do that accurately? Knowing I have incentive to overstate cost and understate benefit?' I asked. 'Well here’s some economics for you. People respond to incentives'. He smiled and said ‘Your heart won’t let you lie. I’ll bank on that’ and flew away to God-knows-where.

(To be continued Tomorrow)


Friday, February 4, 2011

Cupid has a Darn Good Lawyer...

Everyone I knew asked 'why him' when they met him. I always replied, 'why not him?' Truth be told, I wondered a few times myself. He was not what I felt at the time, was ‘my type’. He was just about my height. I liked them tall. He was Nzema, I was Fante; and my mother had vowed she would disown me and call upon the 99 gods of Kakumdo to visit every imaginable curse on me if I disrespected her wishes and brought an Nzema man home.

She said her great-great-grandmother had made her great-grandmother promise, who made her grandmother promise, who made… you get the picture. Yet here was I, helplessly enamored of my (insert sufficiently Nzema sounding name here)

I liked to observe at parties. He was the life of every party we went to. I was a diehard democrat. He was republican. I loved chocolate and ice-cream, he was lactose intolerant. Seriously so. Even watching me eat these could trigger his, ahem, intolerance.

I liked hugs, and subtle public displays of affection, like tucking my hair behind my ear, or brushing your hands over my unruly eyebrows in what we both know is a futile attempt to tame them. He believed his hugs and suchlike had to be ‘earned’ or taken. His arrogance and my pride made for many a frustrated encounter.

When I was with him, I couldn’t name a single difference if my life depended on it. When we were apart, they became glaring and once I start listing them, I become convinced Cupid was playing a mean prank the day he shot us....

(To be continued Tomorrow)