Service to God... (Who said Godly men can't be romantic?)

On Thursday, one of the nicest things that ever happened to me took place. The guys at our campus ministry decided they were going to honour, appreciate and serve the ladies by hosting a dinner for us at the church premises. It was very aptly timed, Monday being valentine's day and all.

After coming down with single-itis on Monday and missing home a bit more than usual, this evening was just what I needed. of course, I didn't know until I got there and I very nearly cancelled my plans to attend due to a pending deadline. Thank God I didn't! It would have been a huge mistake!

It wasn't a bring your date kind of event. It was purely a girl's night out, hosted by the guys. We arrived to the sound of great music and entered to find a couple of guys on stage, serenading us as we got seated. There were guys ready to pull out our chairs for us and make sure we were comfortably seated.

The place had been beautifully decorated, with scented candles providing this calming fragrance and lighting. Apparently, the guys met earlier and ate so it would be all about us when we arrived. They were all dressed up for us in their tuxedos and what not and waited on us hand and foot. Before your water finished, it was refilled. There was more great music and a skit (their own rendition of Don Quixote).

Service was impeccable and we really felt pampered. Being the ladies that we are, we were only able to enjoy it for five minutes before we felt we should be helping and felt guilty we hadn't thought of anything for the guys. The guys stood their ground however and we could only sit back and enjoy, all the while plotting what we could do to make them see how very much appreciated they were.

Whilst I know this is a rare occurrance and savoured every moment as such, I couldn't help but think that this is perhaps the kind of gesture that revived the last glowing embers of a dying marriage. As we sat plotting how we could surprise them and make them feel equally special, the glow from our smiles could have lit up the whole state. It's truly the little things.

Dinner was a  three course affair and was kept simple. Salad, macaroni and cheese, and cake and ice/whipped cream. Believe me when I say it could have been gari and water and tasted just as good.

There was dancing afterwards and even that wasn't couple based so that everybody got to dance. We had the group dances and circles with a few dance lessons thrown in. I was grinning from head to toe by the end of the night... and I had some renewed faith in men. Maybe all is not lost after all... :) :)

The most beautiful part of the night? This poem they read out to us... I don't know who wouldn't feel loved and pampered and utterly cherished after hearing it. I will try and post the poem soon. For now, I say, Vive la chivalrie! and God bless our men :) :) :)

MIRRORLESS VALENTINE MONDAY: Of body image and Love

Happy Valentines Day, Everyone. Happy National Chocolate Day, Fellow Ghanaians...


One of the departments in my school had this posted on the mirrors in the ladies room today...


MIRRORLESS MONDAY: The mirror only shows a small part of who you are. Focus more on what's inside. 


At first I smiled and thought 'yeah, right!' because I was actually changing into my gym clothes and unconsciously checking to see if my abs had started getting swimsuit ready when I saw the note. I caught myself and realized how much we all need this reminder, especially the ladies. A man can have a beer belly and balding head and still think he's hot. Not so for the ladies.


The prettiest of girls is likely to have an insecurity about her looks which is all she sees when she looks into the mirror. Forget luxurious locks,  a face to die/kill for and a killer figure. Some obscure 'imperfection' only she sees can make her feel inferior, unworthy, unpretty,... to the extent that she may even believe anyone who pays her a compliment is making fun of her or is just being 'nice'.


On days like Valentines Day, negative (often delusional) body images heighten as ladies who would stand a good chance at winning any beauty contest they enter, convince themselves it is because of a chipped wisdom tooth (who sees that?) or two extra pounds that they are still single.


If there is one thing I have learnt, It's that confidence is attractive in both sexes. If you have nothing going for you (in your own estimation) and have an attitude that says 'This is who I am, take it or leave it. I love me' You are more attractive than someone who is 'pretty' and insecure about her looks.


Second lesson is that people will often treat you as you see and portray yourself. If your dressing, language, etc. says I'm fat and ugly and no one likes me, It will take a lot for someone to want to get close to you. You are supposed to know yourself better than anyone else and if you're convinced you're unlovable, you must have good reason. Who are they to come and try to prove you wrong?


Having struggled with body image for many years myself, I understand the psychology behind this and know we are not at our most rational when we feel that way.


So today, what I have to say isn't to try and reason with you. It's a plea. There's only one of you in the world. Your body you were born with is the only one you will ever have (plastic surgery can modify certain parts but cannot give you a new body). Embrace it and love it, whatever you may believe is wrong with it. And for those who are single and itching to pair up, loving yourself makes it easier and more inviting for others to love you too.


Accept the parts you can do absolutely nothing about. You didn't choose your face, headshape, etc. before you were born. You owe no one an apology for it. Work on the parts you can do something about. If you don't like your weight, do something about it, but do it for you. Do it for your health and do it healthily. Starving yourself (anorexia), or throwing up what you eat (bulimia) wont do you any good, if at the end of the day, you do not live long enough to enjoy the 'ultimate body' you acquired. 


No one cares whether a corpse is size zero or twenty. And you know what? Losing every pound you don't want on your body won't make everything in your life alright. More often than not, it doesn't even make you feel any better about your body. You get to size zero and want to be a size 00 and it continues...


To borrow TLC's unpretty lyrics, 


'You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if you say so
You can buy all the make-up
that M.A.C can make'

And I add (and paraphrase)
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who you are and love you
No one (and nothing) can make you feel pretty

when you're feeling So damn unpretty

You're BEAUTIFUL. Better believe it!