THE POEM (more like a speech)

Who you are in Christ (For the ladies)


First, you are loved and delighted in by your creator
The Bible declares in Jeremiah 31:3 "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness"


Zephaniah 3:17 says: "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing"


No matter what your past has been, what others have told you, or what you have been led to believe about yourself, Christ sees you as a jewel, a treasure, and his beloved.


Second, you are the pure bride of Christ
Ephesians 5:25-27 says, "... just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless'


This paints such an exacting picture of the incredible divine romance Christ has invited you into. Even without a romantic relationship with a man in your life, you have the greatest love story of all time. Your bridegroom loved you since creation, died for you, cared for you, and place His spirit within you. You belong to the one lover who meets your every need and satisfies the longings of your heart.


1 Corinthians 7:34 says, "... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."


You will never be disappointed by the passionate love of Christ :)


Third, you are beautiful
As women of God, you have the deepest beauty of all. Each one of you is beautiful on the outside, but what defines your incredible beauty is that which Christ has given you. A woman, whose heart belongs to Christ, is desirable.


I heard a fellow man make a comment recently concerning a wonderful woman of God; "My spirit is attracted to her". Your true value and attractiveness comes from within. As men of God, we see Christ in you and a desire to seek Him, and this amplifies the beauty you were born with.


Proverbs 31:31 says, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised".


So with that, we thank you; for seeking God, for inspiring us to be better men of God, for adding a certain level of civility to our lives, and for being true ladies...




AWWWW..... Lol


(c) Brad Ewton (2011)

Service to God... (Who said Godly men can't be romantic?)

On Thursday, one of the nicest things that ever happened to me took place. The guys at our campus ministry decided they were going to honour, appreciate and serve the ladies by hosting a dinner for us at the church premises. It was very aptly timed, Monday being valentine's day and all.

After coming down with single-itis on Monday and missing home a bit more than usual, this evening was just what I needed. of course, I didn't know until I got there and I very nearly cancelled my plans to attend due to a pending deadline. Thank God I didn't! It would have been a huge mistake!

It wasn't a bring your date kind of event. It was purely a girl's night out, hosted by the guys. We arrived to the sound of great music and entered to find a couple of guys on stage, serenading us as we got seated. There were guys ready to pull out our chairs for us and make sure we were comfortably seated.

The place had been beautifully decorated, with scented candles providing this calming fragrance and lighting. Apparently, the guys met earlier and ate so it would be all about us when we arrived. They were all dressed up for us in their tuxedos and what not and waited on us hand and foot. Before your water finished, it was refilled. There was more great music and a skit (their own rendition of Don Quixote).

Service was impeccable and we really felt pampered. Being the ladies that we are, we were only able to enjoy it for five minutes before we felt we should be helping and felt guilty we hadn't thought of anything for the guys. The guys stood their ground however and we could only sit back and enjoy, all the while plotting what we could do to make them see how very much appreciated they were.

Whilst I know this is a rare occurrance and savoured every moment as such, I couldn't help but think that this is perhaps the kind of gesture that revived the last glowing embers of a dying marriage. As we sat plotting how we could surprise them and make them feel equally special, the glow from our smiles could have lit up the whole state. It's truly the little things.

Dinner was a  three course affair and was kept simple. Salad, macaroni and cheese, and cake and ice/whipped cream. Believe me when I say it could have been gari and water and tasted just as good.

There was dancing afterwards and even that wasn't couple based so that everybody got to dance. We had the group dances and circles with a few dance lessons thrown in. I was grinning from head to toe by the end of the night... and I had some renewed faith in men. Maybe all is not lost after all... :) :)

The most beautiful part of the night? This poem they read out to us... I don't know who wouldn't feel loved and pampered and utterly cherished after hearing it. I will try and post the poem soon. For now, I say, Vive la chivalrie! and God bless our men :) :) :)

(The) Some Male Minds

Reading Dava's Blog the other day, I was reminded of one incident that left a sour taste in my mouth. I was on a bus headed for circle and the radio programme airing at that time was on ladies who cheated on their husbands, got pregnant, and passed the kids off to their husbands as their own (their husbands, that is).

There was one very vocal guy on the bus who exclaimed that it would never happen to him, that women could not be trusted, and that was why he would never marry but will continue to use as many women as he could. To quote him, 'As you no go fit put meter for your woman top, she fit share plus any bro. So why pay for it?Why be the monkey when you can be the baboon and chop some free?' He went on and on for about fifteen minutes.

Of course, I must mention that considering this man's looks and mannerisms, it was no loss to women that he didn't want to get married. However, his opinions which he was proudly forcing down our throats just rubbed my feminist self too badly for me not to comment. 

I turned to the guy sitting next to me and said 'This guy is making noise. How will what he is saying solve anybody's problems? Besides, if no man was to touch another woman other than his wife, this problem would be non-existent.' Seriously, guys, think about it... (Of course, reasoning along similar lines, I will also say that if women allowed only their husbands to touch them, cheating husbands would be non-existent cos there would be no one for them to cheat with. If he was going around using women (other people's wives, now or in future), why was he making noise about someone using his own?

And here, [Editor's note: Did my suggestion sound ridiculous? It would in this day and age, right? Like Miss Kris said, 'that is such an amazing way to think about it. too bad it's unrealistic... that's like asking for a world of completely monogamous people. doubt people will ever come around to that. but it's a really good hypothesis anyway'. And because we are not willing to make that sacrifice, we shouldn't blame anyone for the mess we're in. We are all contributing - consciously or unconsciously. Just work on YOUR relationship]

Mr. vocal overheard this and said 'How can I dae a girl and not touch her? What the would show that she is mine?' He then proceeded to propound a very stupid theory. "Women are proud and very aware of their sexuality these days and use their sexuality against men. With the campaign for girl-child education, they have also become loud and argumentative. We all know women are smarter than us so the only way you can subdue a today's woman is to sleep with her. Then, she becomes mellow and knows her place.

Seriously? Sex is how you subdue a woman and retain your manhood? Then that manhood must not have been very big to begin with. You cannot imagine how pissed I was. .. He actually said 'When you catch her, you give it to her well well and she will know who is boss.' Lesbianism began to look very good to me, especially when about 70% of the men in the bus proceeded to agree with him. 

When you take a woman's sexuality and womanhood and bastardize it, making it her weakness and your weapon against her, a way of staking your claim on her... Will she want to be a WOMAN? Be with a man?No wonder more and more ladies are becoming lesbians. No wonder more women are wising up and using their sexualities to get what they want from life. It's sad, really! But hey, if they are going to be used anyway, it might as well be on their terms, don't you think?

www.photochart.com

Of course, I shouldn't really pay that much attention to this guy. He also said educated women should not marry educated men because those will cheat on them. They should marry fitters, masons and the like to decrease the income gap... We asked him what he would say and do if his university graduate daughter wanted to marry a truck-pusher and he fumbled. Everyone in the car pounced on him... even the masons and fitters who had initially nodded when he started the theory joined in.

When someone asked if he had ever been hurt by a woman, he said never! How possible? He also said he had 4 sisters and that his parents were still together. Where then did he get this 'socialization' from? Is there hope at all with men walking about thinking like this???

Women... Our own enemies?

"He loves me, I love him not. He treats me like a queen, it matters not.
I love him, he loves me not. I love him, no matter what." ~ Nana Oye Odame


I remember a poem I wrote in High School about Marriage. I tried to find it and post it, but it will take some time. It all boils down to this - happens to almost every girl. There are guys who would give an arm and a leg to call you theirs and some who would take your arm and leg if you gave it to them, and throw it away, not seeing the value of your sacrifice. And correct me if I'm wrong, but we tend to mostly gravitate towards the second group.


This has earned us a reputation of not knowing what we want from the guys. Here is an illustration
Loving, sensitive, God-fearing guy: What do you want in a guy?
Lady: I want a guy who loves God, is caring and can make me laugh. A serious minded guy who is not just looking for fun but has marriage in mind...


(a few months later)
Same guy: Will you go out with me? be my girl? Will you consider the possibility of being my wife and explore that possibility with me in courtship?
Lady: I will think about it (thinking to self - Hell no! You're boring. I want excitement. and marriage? dude, I'm way too young for that. I wanna have me some fun! Where are you in a hurry to? And you care too much. You don't get mad at me or make me mad, you're always calling me to check on me... I want a guy who will allow me to have my space and not a needy guy like you. You're not man enough for me)


(of course, she says no eventually and the next time they meet, here is Lady with a child and no husband, visibly bruised and battered)


Excitement! We let the good guys go in the name of chasing excitement! Did I not say that we are adrenalin junkies? Anyway, I was telling my friend the other day, when he was debating a similar dilemma as to whether to date a 'naughty girl' or a 'good girl' that A good girl can be a naughty wife. A naughty girl can also be a good wife. It comes down to a trade-off between happiness and excitement and which risk you'd rather take.


More often than not, we choose to go with the excitement, often confusing it with happiness. We act as if when  the pastor pronounces us husband and wife, our exciting boys are going to automatically transform into responsible husbands. This is no fairytale. The pastor isn't a fairy godmother with a magic wand.


If we are honest and make two lists - one with the qualities we want in a boyfriend and another with the qualities we want in a husband, many of us may find that the lists describe two very different people. But who do we marry? Is it not our boyfriends? The unfortunate thing is that this inconsistency teaches the good boys that good guys finish last. Many of them become bad men.


And we turn and complain that good guys have gone extinct. The power is really in our hands. The power of choice. A little economics here - what we demand will get produced. If we are demanding naughty, dangerous, bad boys, who treat us badly, why do we complain when they deliver?

Be grateful for how you look, you dont know what you've got till you lose it

Yesterday, I was humbled by a sight I beheld after church and an ensuing interaction. I was going to write a post about it immediately I got home... but you know how these things go. I was extremely busy yesterday afternoon and evening. And when I finally got home at night, I could only sign in before I dozed off. Talk about willing spirit but weak body! Anyway, better late than never, right? Well, here goes...

When coming home from church yesterday, I saw a guy whose looks arrested me - and I don't mean in a good way. Being one who always notices when people stare for too long and sometimes often complains about it being rude and all, you must understand that it must have been a purely involuntary action. I was, literally, riveted to the spot and was only capable of two things - 1)staring and 2)keeping my mouth open in that perfect oval of astonishment. I was so transfixed by what I was gazing at that I didn't even know the guy had noticed and was staring back.

When our eyes finally met, I blushed purple under my chocolate skin and muttered, "I'm terribly sorry". The guys smiled with a hint of a twinkle in his eye and said, "Don't worry, I'd stare too". I marveled at his resilient spirit. I don't know how long he'd been like that but personally, even if I had been born looking like that, I doubt I'd ever be that comfortable in my disfigured skin.

Enough of the suspense, let me describe the guy to you. You know the condition where water gathers in/around the skull? Hydrocephalus, (pronounced /ˌhaɪdrɵˈsɛfələs/), also known as "water on the brain", is a medical condition in which there is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the ventricles, or cavities, of the brain. This may cause increased intracranial pressure inside the skull and progressive enlargement of the head, convulsion, and mental disability. Hydrocephalus can also cause death. The name derives from the Greek words ὑδρο- (hudro-) "water", and κέφαλος (kephalos) "head". (source: wikipedia) You can find a photo here: http://kupenda.org/UserFiles/Image/hydrocephalus1.jpg

Well, this guy looked like he had that and someone had gotten an idea to knock a nail into one side of his head to get some of the fluid out. It was not a pleasant sight, to put it mildly. Before you get me wrong, I was not disgusted by what I saw, I was sad, filled with concern, and consumed with guilt over how much I take how I look for granted and am even ungrateful sometimes.

Emboldened by his statement, I asked, "Do you mind me asking what happened?"  "Haven't you already asked?" He retorted. "Touche" I said and laughed, praying he would satisfy my curiosity. "I had a motor accident and my helmet got crushed and caved in a side of my skull" He offered. I visibly blanched. The infamous motorcycle. My eyes misted over. "Are you crying?" He asked, He had a photograph in his hand. I sniffed away my tears and took the photo. "Is it you?" I asked. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. He took the photo and said - A reminder not to go racing against a sports car on the Tema motorway. "I'm sorry'  I said. "Don't be". He replied "God's will concerning me shall still be done"

The he did something that humbled me and opened the floodgates of my tears. He looked at me and said - You're beautiful. Be grateful for it and strive to be a worthy custodian of the looks God has so freely bestowed upon you.

As I dressed up this morning, I took a long, hard look at my face and whispered "Thank you, Jehovah" and decided not to put on any make-up at all - not even powder. If Akwasi (my new friend) could wear his face with dignity, I don't have to make-up for anything... and henceforth, I will make no excuses for it. It is my face, & I love it! -warts and all.

(c) Nana Oye Odame