Friday, January 7, 2011

Finding a good fit - of bras and love

Disclaimer: The more I learn about human relations, the more I realize I don't know. This is not a foolproof recipe for how to find and keep a perfect fit... Reader discretion is advised :)

''Finding ‘The one’, if any such exists, is kind of like shopping for a great pair of shoes. It’s really difficult. You have to go through a lot of ugly, cheap, cheesy ones to find a really great one. Finding the man of my dreams will be a great accessory''. Wait, don’t boo me yet, I’m just paraphrasing Megan from this season’s ‘The Bachelor’

Personally, I would liken it to finding a good bra. You really have to take your time and find as close to a perfect fit as possible. Otherwise, you will not get the requisite support, comfort and dependability required of a bra. A good bra has to be pretty enough so you can proudly show it off to other people when you have to (think medical examination, peeps ;) get your minds on track!). It also has to be in good condition so you’ll be proud to own up to it, should someone chance on it and wish to know the owner.

A good bra has to make you feel good, and you also have to treat it right so it lasts for a long time, possibly, till it has no life in it anymore. A bra can make or unmake an outfit, especially when you know you’re a handful ;). Also, good bras are expensive and often require more care.

As we grow, we may outgrow our bras and change bra sizes. Motherhood, weight gain/loss, old age, etc. all have their influences on our bra sizes. Wear and tear also has its influence on the bra. No matter how wonderful a bra is, and how great it makes us feel and look, sometimes, we just have to let it go. Analogously, people seldom remain the same throughout the time we know them. Experiences and environment affect how they see and feel about things, and may even impact how they feel about you.

When bras stretch and tear, we throw them out. Herein lies the difference - people are not disposable and we cannot throw them out and buy a new, 'better fitting one' whenever it strikes our fancy. This is especially true if you've said 'I do' People have feelings where bras don't and with people, the stretching goes both ways. 

I guess with people, the wash and care instructions differ. We hardly, if ever, seek to find a forever bra. But in marriage, we hope to have found a forever fit. When life's experiences, events and environments change us, we may shrink, enlarge, or fray and the other may do same. I guess the trick is to choose in such a way that wear and tear can be contained because truth be told, you're going to have to choose how to handle the people you love on a case by case basis. And even when you find 'The one' you may have to tweak how you treat him/her on a day to day basis.

Just as we invest in a good bra and pray it lasts, I guess our best bet is to choose our partners diligently and pray it lasts. However, there is another twist. Whereas in the case of a bra, you are the only one who makes an effort to make it last, with people, it must be from both sides. Our partners are not the only ones who change. We change too and they must accommodate us, just as we accommodate them.

This is the spiral of thoughts my mind went on when I was watching the show. Now to go finish watching the show J J


  1. Very well-thought-out post. Has so much relevance for my personal life. Thanks for sharing this pear. :-)